Adventures of the Idiot and the Asshole

Every great adventure needs a little chaos, a little courage, and at least one person who says, “This is probably a terrible idea... let’s do it.”

Enter: The Idiot and the Asshole.

That’s us.

We’re Tiffany & Tim: an inseparable duo powered by bad judgment, questionable survival skills, and an unhealthy love for spontaneous misadventure. We travel across America seeking beauty, thrills, and moments that make us ask, “Why did we think this was smart?”

And almost always, it’s because one of us dared the other.

The Origin Story

Let’s clear this up: we take turns being The Idiot and The Asshole. There's no fixed title here – we earn them. Fair and square.

Sometimes, Tiffany finds a trail described as “moderately dangerous” but fails to mention the word “bear-infested.” Tim, ever the optimist that Tiffany won't get him killed, agrees to go—Idiot. Tiffany, who knew better, leads the charge anyway—Asshole.

Other times, Tim has an idea that seems fun, like hiking five miles uphill with a 40-pound backpack to catch a view that the internet swears is “worth it.” Tiffany asks, “Isn’t that a thunderstorm rolling in?” Tim smiles like he has cell service and a plan. He doesn’t.

The Bridge Incident (aka "The Dumbest New Year’s Ever")

Here’s a favorite from our ever-growing collection of close calls.

It was New Year’s Eve. We were somewhere in the Yosemite mountains; don’t ask us which ones; we lost GPS an hour in. The plan was simple: hike across a wooden bridge over a rushing, icy river, get in a quick hike, and ring in the new year under stars.

Tiffany (The Idiot) looked at the bridge and said, “Nope. That thing is one squirrel sneeze away from collapse.”

Tim (The Asshole) said, “It’ll be fine. The bridge is solid”

Tiffany hesitated. The bridge creaked. The water roared beneath. Tim smiled that stupid smile that somehow always wins. Tiffany sighed and stepped on.

Fast forward. The bridge gets obliterated by falling trees, not 20 minutes later. Like, cartoon-level obliterated. Our exit route? Gone.

So, there we were, stranded in freezing rain, night falling, soaked, cursing each other’s judgment, laughing like we’re dying, and shivering on the wrong side of a collapsed bridge.

New Year’s toast? Cold, wet peanuts and a half-empty bottle of water.

Why We Keep Doing It

Because these stories are who we are.

We’ve hiked desert cliffs with no sunscreen and one bottle of water(bad idea). We’ve camped in the woods with a busted tent sorrunded by ticks, poison ivy and large animals creeping around at night. We’ve pulled into very shady motels with a very suspicious possum staring us down at the top of the stairs. We once got stuck on a trail because we followed “the sound of water” instead of an actual map.

We’re not professionals. We’re not influencers. We’re just two people who love the thrill of the unknown and each other’s terrible ideas.

Lessons? Maybe.

We’ve learned that the best memories usually come with dirt on your shoes, sore muscles, and at least one “I told you so.”

We’ve learned to pack extra socks, trust our guts, and maybe not always trust the guy saying “Just a little further, a half a mile or so”.

But mostly, we’ve learned that adventure is best when shared, even when one of us is the Idiot and the other is the Asshole.

Follow our journey. Laugh at our mistakes. Learn nothing.

We’re just here to remind you that sometimes, the best way to live... is to leap before you look.

See you on the next dumb detour,

Tiff & Tim

The Idiot & The Asshole(and vice versa)